SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
