Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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