Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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