I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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