the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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