Me. At least after what I've been through.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
