I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
