i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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