HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize