"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You made out with two different species that night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
