Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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