if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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