You really coming over, don't trick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
