Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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