did you get engaged???
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
