Do you still have your period?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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