It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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