pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
