i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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