I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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