I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
