she looked like the before picture.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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