My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
