Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's official drugs can't kill me
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
