somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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