So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize