Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
