office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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