ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize