I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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