we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
