Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
