You're my little dorito
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
