The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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