I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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