The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
