dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
