I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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