she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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