Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
