Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
