WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
