I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
