I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
