i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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