Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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