32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
