i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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