I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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