he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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