dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize