My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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