Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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