ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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