Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
